Book Excerpt: If It Sounds Like A Quack

2011, a tipping point in Alternative Healing, was significant for another reason.

Deep in the Pacific, the edge of one tectonic plate was jammed under the tectonic plate that was supporting Japan. This was not news. It was happening at a rate of three inches to him a year, long before man invented the concept of news. But that March, when the underlying mass of plates suddenly collapsed, raising the seafloor by about 15 feet and the plate holding part of Japan suddenly dropping by about 3 feet, it was the largest possible volcano. How it made the news. The magnitude 9 Great East Japan Earthquake was so powerful that it deflected Japan eight feet east of her. It was so large that it shifted the Earth six inches off her on its axis.It was so big that it accelerated the rotation of the planet
(It’s only 1.8 microseconds off a day, but your day is still just a tad shorter. Thank you Mr. Obama!). The earthquake and accompanying tsunami also wreaked havoc on human systems such as transportation, energy, water, and telecommunications systems. It is also the most important of all human systems, the biological system that allows us to drool, reproduce, and contemplate the high absurdities of life. Formula price (usually in this order).

The tsunami killed over 20,000 people and caused multiple nuclear meltdowns. It was a miserable casualty for all but the supplement sellers who pivoted to prey on unfounded fears of Americans living thousands of miles from the radiation. Toby McAdam, who still sells Rising Sun products, told a local newspaper he suspects radiation is drifting into Montana. He recommended applying “Lugol’s Iodine Solution” to the skin daily as “an ounce of prophylaxis”. However, the surge in orders caused Toby’s website to crash.

The multifaceted nature of the chaos caused by the tsunami makes it perhaps fitting that this event was also the beginning of the United States’ descent into a full-blown zombie apocalypse.

In June, after the earthquake, the CDC started a Twitter conversation about emergency preparedness, leading to a handful of people tweeting jokingly that they wanted the CDC to be involved in a devastating zombie attack.

This has resulted in a predictable wave of LOL, LOL, and laughing face emojis, according to Dave Daigle (CDC Communications Manager) and Dr. Ali S. Khan (CDC Disaster Preparedness Specialist). Ideas were also born.

With Daigle’s input, Khan wrote an article for the CDC website explaining how to prepare for the zombie apocalypse. It neatly showed the humanity behind the ice-cold stethoscope, but it harnessed the innate charm of zombies to teach real strategies for dealing with real disasters. was

It turns out that people are hungry for messages about brain-hungry people. The CDC’s plan to prepare for the zombie apocalypse was an immediate hit, garnering so many views that the CDC servers were overwhelmed with all the traffic and froze.

The little fun was so successful that a team of researchers from the University of California, Irvine published a celebratory paper in the journal. emerging infectious disease Encourage other public health authorities to follow suit. Zombie, they argued, was an opportunity to “take advantage of spreading public health awareness through the use of relevant popular culture tools and scientific explanations for fictional phenomena.” and build efforts for better public education on a variety of health topics.

Suddenly, zombies have popped up all over public health and safety. The CDC, Homeland Security, and Federal Emergency Management Agency all publish detailed zombie-related literature. Finally, civil servants were taking the initiative to reclaim the cultural space they had inadvertently ceded to the promoters of One True Cures.

Also in 2011, he appeared on a radio show named Harvard Medical School physician and aspiring novelist Stephen Schrozman. Coast to Coast AMspun tales of conspiracy and the paranormal to massive, religious national audiences seven days a week from 2 a.m. to 4 a.m. Coast to Coast AM is the nation’s most popular late-night radio show. With 10 million listeners, it was a perfect opportunity for Schlozman to promote his latest work. Zombie Dissection: Secret Notes from the ApocalypseIn that book, Schrozman used his medical knowledge to describe “ataxic neurodegenerative satiety syndrome” as a medical cause.
zombies (which of course were fictional works of fiction). The format of the show required Schrozman to tell the events of the novel as if they were real and move on to the realization that it was all pure fantasy.

Daigle, Khan, and Schlozman were helping people learn science in a fun way.

However, their efforts soon ran into trouble. That said, there are multiple ways to watch the zombie apocalypse.

One fact that the CDC and its affiliates failed to fully recognize was the 2009 feature film-like zombie property, zombieland and the hit TV series of the 2010s the walking deadvery little
Screen time is given to public health concepts such as water sanitation. This action comes after most health officials eat their faces, forcing individual survivors to attack the infected with baseball bats, crossbows, and shotguns as a means of self-preservation.

So other groups were quickly lining up to bring the hot new cultural fad onto their own very different agendas. Zombies have become the centerpiece of gun advertising and a major part of the NRA’s annual conventions. There, shooting the undead did not carry the moral baggage that comes with shooting human targets.

“The zombie canon focuses so squarely on the apocalypse that its spread into popular culture undermines faith in civilization’s resilience,” says Daniel Dresner, a professor and zombie expert at Tufts University. “The zombie narrative, as traditionally presented, socially constructs the very narrative that agencies like the CDC and FEMA are trying to prevent.”

Dresner documented how references to zombies became a sort of dog whistle for gun rights.

Until some Americans started asking, Do you have to shoot zombies in real life?

Toby McAdam tells us about the 2012 Miami incident. In this case, a man bit off a homeless man’s face and was shot at, after which authorities told him he was unlikely to die. But Toby wasn’t the only one fascinated by the attack: he let an undead cat out of its sack.

Shortly after the news broke, the self-proclaimed Bitcoin evangelist and promoter of alternative health supplements huffington post Articles on this incident attributed the cause of face eating to LQP-79, a virus that destroys internal organs and starves the host to human flesh.

The fake article went viral and blew up digital media feeds so thoroughly that LQP-79 quickly became the third most searched term on the CDC’s website, prompting authorities to officially confirm the existence of the zombie virus. forced to deny.

Around that time, zombie-themed communities of survivalists and militias sprang up across America. One is a well-established offshoot of the Michigan State Militia, while others have names such as the Kansas Anti-Zombie Militia, the Anti-Zombie United Resistance Effort (AZURE), the Zombie-Fighting Rednex, the Zombie Eradication and Survival Team, and the Post-Mortem Assault Squadron. I had US Department of Zombie Defense.

One of them, a loosely affiliated national group called the Zombie Outbreak Response Team of the United States (ZORT), popularized a strange hodgepodge of survivalism and cosplay. The company’s website features photos of Tactical’s prepper in his gear, tinted sunglasses, stickers and goofy accessories to turn the truck into a zombie-fighting vehicle. Ghost Busters again mad max universe. It was a lot of fun in a way. But they also had real guns. And engaged in real post-apocalyptic survival exercises.

“Zombies can be anything from people infected with pandemic outbreaks to criminals and gangsters with crazy jobs, hurting families and trying to steal food and preparations,” ZORT’s promotional material said. To read.

ZORT claims they’re just joking because of legitimate training that helps them during natural disasters, but of course the real difference between zombies and hurricane survivors is that one is shot in the head and the other is dead. The other is that you must be shot in the head. Hot toddies and showers.

Did any of these people actually believe in zombies?

Probably not. But it was possible.

Courtesy of PublicAffairs

Dresner cited research that shows that when people think about the paranormal, they look less at logical evidence and more at whether others believe the idea. This means that even if no one believes in zombies, some believe in zombies and others believe in zombies. Gaslighting was so effective that it gaslighted others until the actual zombie terror took on an undead life of its own.

In fact, the images online were getting pretty blurry. At the CDC, Daigle and Khan began receiving inquiries about their anti-zombie plans from concerned citizens wanting to know the types of firearms recommended for fighting off the undead invaders.while after him Coast to Coast AM Schrozman received an email from a listener who wanted to know if there were any medicines that could stave off zombie infections and recommendations for protecting their homes. had to formally deny firm rumors that he had risen from the dead as a And he formally proposed “Zombie Apocalypse Related Laws” in 2014 at the Florida State Capitol as the name of a bill that would allow citizens to carry firearms without a permit in an emergency. .

Shockingly, a 2015 study found that 2% of American adults believed zombies were the most likely apocalyptic scenario.

And I kept seeing zombie references in unexpected places. People downloaded audio fitness tracks. On this track, a jogging jogger was kept motivated by his antagonist, an imaginary zombie chasing him as he ran.

A man named Vermin Supreme, who was seeking the 2016 Libertarian Party presidential nomination, added a platform board on “Awareness of the Zombie Apocalypse.” He also advocated using zombies for renewable energy. Even Big Tech was on board with it. Clause 57.10 (perhaps a gag?) buried in Amazon’s user agreement for its game development engine states that the software may not be used in life-or-death situations, such as medical equipment, nuclear facilities, spacecraft, or military. I’m here. combat operations. “However, this limit would apply in the event of a widespread viral infection transmitted through contact with a deadly reanimated human cadaver or through contact with bodily fluids (authorized by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control or its successor). It does not apply to the consuming of living human flesh, blood, brain, or nervous tissue, which could lead to the collapse of an organized civilization.”

As zombie stories permeated popular culture, television and film lore began to expand beyond the simple tropes of lurking brain-eating. There were zombie rom-coms and zombie him mockumentaries. on the CW television network eye zombie The story of a Seattle morgue worker infected with a zombie virus. In this world, zombies retain their personalities and abilities as long as they are well fed (brains). In the third season, which aired in 2017, a group of zombie extremists release a deadly flu virus in Seattle. Local public health officials announce mandatory flu vaccinations, but discover that zombies are contaminating the vaccine with a substance that turns vaccinated into zombies.

Vaccines that zombified civilians?

Fortunately for public health, no one believes it in real life.

buy If It Sounds Like Quack Here by Matthew Hongoltz-Hetling.

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