question: Recently at a work event they served lunch. I’m trying to learn good manners, but I can’t find the right etiquette answer. What about at your friend’s house?
Curry’s answer: Of course, if you’re still hungry, a few seconds is fine.
LILLIE-BETH’s answer: At many events, lunch is served on a plate. In that case, I wouldn’t ask for seconds unless, for example, there was a basket of bread on the table and not everyone rolled the bread. After everyone has finished their rolls, you can ask for a second roll. Usually they have enough food for the number of people in attendance, not seconds.
If it’s a small work gathering, wait for everyone to get in line. If the food is seated and you’re not interrupting the speaker to interrupt more talking, I think it’s fine to do so. Get inspired and decide.
Also, make sure everyone is served before you even think a few seconds. At a friend’s house, it depends on how formal the dinner is, whether the food is served buffet style or already plated from the kitchen. I think you need to follow your instincts here and make sure you’re not taking food from other people. If not, you may need to snack at home.
Helen’s answer: At your work event, you can see if 1) they are offering seconds and 2) if someone is working on it. please give me. When food is served at your friend’s house, feel free to enjoy your friend’s cooking.
guest’s answer: Adrienne Nobles, President-Elect, Oklahoma City Junior League: I don’t know if there are any “hard and fast” etiquette rules for these situations. However, based on my experience, I will share how I manage these situations. At work events, catering is often carefully planned and coordinated. If your meal is buffet style, the solution is simple. I wouldn’t recommend asking for seconds if the meal is plated as it can be difficult for catering and wait staff to accommodate.
At a friend’s house, the host is very likely to provide a few seconds if possible. If you’re not sure, you can say something like, “That dessert was delicious. Would you like another bite?” This is a friendly way to compliment the chef and signal an offer for another serving. This advice applies to any person, not just women.
Since 2009, Callie, Lillie-Beth, and Helen have written this generation’s etiquette column. It also includes guest reactions from a wide range of ages each week. Years later, Callie is over 20 years old. Lillie-Beth, she’s over 40, and Helen, she’s over 60. For etiquette questions, email email@example.com.